Learning To Relax Can Be Life-changing
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On today’s episode, we are joined by the wonderful Marneta Viegas, founder of Relax Kids Ltd, and the UK’s leading expert in children’s relaxation. Over the last 25 years, through her revolutionary relaxation program, Marneta has helped over 5 million children at home and in school. She has also written over 20 children's meditation books and has recorded over 500 meditation audios. Marneta has developed a unique and award winning seven step method to teach children how to self-regulate and manage their anxiety. She has also trained 6000 coaches from 52 countries in this method, and in 2005 her business was declined in Dragon’s Den when she declared she was more interested in making a social change than making a profit. Having meditated herself since the age of 12, Marneta has a unique gift of bringing creativity and magic into her meditation for both adults and children, with creativity being at the core of her work. She runs ‘Ignite Your Creative Spark’, which is a creative therapeutic arts club as well as well-being workshops.
LEARNING TO RELAX CAN BE LIFE-CHANGING
Marneta begins by sharing how she accidentally ended up on this path, albeit with a sprinkling of synchronicity. After completing her Performing Arts degree, she wanted to be a children’s TV presenter but felt shut out of the industry at that time because she didn’t fit the stereotype of ‘white, thin, beautiful and blonde’. She decided to set up a children's entertainment business, where instead of whipping children up into a frenzy at parties, she brought them down into a relaxed state. Over the years as her business became more successful and despite her act getting better, she noticed children's behaviour was changing and they were struggling to sit still and remain focused.
At one such party, she ended up taking the children through a meditation and it worked! This led her to start teaching relaxation to a small group of children, using the elements of her performing arts degree to create a seven-step system to teach them to relax. She further enhanced her practice by attending a spiritual retreat in India, and it was after her meditations here that she felt inspired to write down her ideas for children’s meditations. Two years later, her friend transcribed them and she sent them off to a publisher and the rest is history. Her aim was to help to teach children meditate using fairy stories. At the time, Marneta couldn’t find anything else that addressed this area for kids and presented it in an accessible way, and she began teaching her RelaxKids classes in 2000.
Marneta only realised some years later that her work followed the system of the seven chakras – as this happened so instinctively! Her work is backed up by research, but Marneta is more focused on what works on a practical level and has received so much positive feedback directly through children themselves, or through the coaches she has trained including kids with selective mutism, who have begun speaking after sessions, as well as improvements in self-esteem for children with Autism and ADHD.
She reminds us that the elements of singing, dancing and breathing together were something we all did naturally when we lived in tribes. We now know why these activities were so beneficial. She points out that children can only really learn when they are relaxed, and this is what Relax Kids does – calms their nervous system through humming, movement and other techniques. She runs different classes for different ages, plus a charge up program for teens and Baby Mindful for babies – in other words from in the womb all the way up to teens!
Marneta loves the creativity she brings into all of her work, including her Dream Machine book or the tech-focused exercises for teenagers among many other wonderful tools. She believes that creative play for children has huge benefits, and Sally brings up creative flow and the evidence that we now have to prove this is a formula that improves our lives.
Sally talks about how our children now have metaphorical arrows coming at then from all directions, and Marneta talks about the difference between being a creator and being a consumer – when the arrows come, it is overwhelming on the nervous system, but when you’re a creator you are working from the inside out. When we are creating, our energy field is going out into the world so we are feeling nourished, whereas the more we consume the emptier we can feel. We think we are ‘switching off’ by watching TV or scrolling on our phones, but we are just consuming more. Marneta gave up her television in 1999 and this was when all her ideas came to start Relax Kids. Sally reminds us that when we create a void, the Universe will fill it!
Marneta has worked with schools for a long time, and has recently developed Calmer Class for schools, which provides teachers with a toolkit to create a calmer atmosphere in the classroom. She also works with different charities and other organisations such as hospitals, councils and family hubs to train their staff in helping children to use the Relax Kids system to self-regulate.
Marneta explains how her meditations work for children of all ages, and with a variety of mental health issues. Even though there has been an increase in recognised mental health problems amongst children, the essence of her work remains the same – because it works. She recognises her own conditions of ADHD, dyslexia and some issues with spatial awareness – but points out that with or without a diagnosis we need the same tools – to calm the nervous system and not be in a state of high alert all the time. The longer we are in this state of stress, the more difficult it can be to self-regulate. Marneta shares that we as adults are not self-regulated enough, so we aren’t necessarily mirroring the right behaviour, and in particular women going through the menopause need to know how to calm their nervous system, be that through meditation, getting outdoors or whatever works for the individual. We talk about the power of visualisation and how, with the right guidance, we can imagine ourselves to be in a peaceful place, even if this is not reflected in the outside world.
Sally talks about ‘the teenage tunnel of terror’, and how we as parents can help our children navigate through this difficult period. Marneta recommends doing something small together and regularly – she has created a free well-being pack on her website. She says to make sure you know how to breathe and take a moment to fill your own cup, so you can fill the cup of your loved ones and not bring your stress into the family home after work. She suggests a ritual of some kind to shift your energy into a more relaxed mindset.
To find out more, visit www.relaxkids.com where you can also download the free resource pack we mentioned and read Marneta’s blog , or you can find Marneta’s self-regulation videos and comedy sketches on TikTok and Instagram. She would love to hear from you!